A lot has happened this week,
but it's been more about internal shifts
than anything external.
Although an external decision had to be made
in order for the internal to change and feel lighter.
I had a decision to make this week
that I've been putting off for years now.
I've been going back to an office job
on a part time basis for about 4 years.
It worked for me in the beginning,
but hasn't worked for me in a while
and I knew a decision had to be made eventually.
I just kept putting it off.I doodled about it.
I wrote about it.
I journaled and painted
and thought about it.
Circumstances and life choices sometimes
force us to make decisions based on
what's necessary at the time,
rather than what we want.
Based on what our MIND wants
rather than what our heart wants.
The best decisions are always those
made from the heart, for the heart.
So this week,
when I got the phone call,
I said no.
I made the decision to say no to something
that was no longer fulfilling me,
so that I could say YES
to something that does.
And I am ecstatic.I literally felt a shift within me
as soon as I got off the phone
that brought me back to that quiet place within
that we so often forget is there is along.
Especially when things get antsy and rushed
and chaotic and crazy.
I feel such a sense of relief.
The floodgates have now opened
for bigger and better things.
Making room for the e-course I want to teach.
Making room for art and books and writing.
Making room for so many projects
I've had on the back burner,
because of that dreaded phone call
I knew would come, asking me to return.
It wasn't easy to say no to this job
but it felt necessary to say no.
Do you ever feel that way about something?
Like you KNOW with every bone in your body
what you should do,
but you do the opposite,
because it's what normal people do.
Because it's what's expected of you.
Because you have bills to pay.
Because you're afraid.
Because you just HAVE to, otherwise,
people would think you've lost your mind.
I chose to listen to myself this time.
I know many people who will think
HAS SHE LOST HER MIND?
But the few people who matter to me
are already proud of my decision,
even if there are still so many unknowns.
The few people I care about
are happy for me already.
Those are the only ones
I'm listening to these days. :)
How can I preach about courage
if I am not courageous myself?
How can I teach others
to listen to that quiet space within them
if I don't do it myself?
Already, I feel a 200lb weight
lifted from my shoulders,
and I feel more hopeful about tomorrow
than I've felt in a long time.
I feel energized and inspired
and full of so many ideas
that I cannot wait to share with all of you.
The 1st sign of having made
the right decision.
I'll keep you all posted as I go along.
Who knows... I may be crying in my beer by next week,
but I doubt it.
It all feels too right to be wrong.
probably because we now have
a furry little addition in the family too -
although not quite as white as this one. :)